So tonight, for whatever reason, I seem to have discovered a new attitude. We had our Valedictory Dinner at college, and listening to people talk about their time at college and about being able to look back on their time, knowing that they've made the most of their opportunities, brought about a change in me. Tonight was one of the first nights in quite a while that I haven't had much to drink, especially in regards to college events, so that was weird in itself. But then, being out on the dance floor, not caring what anyone thought, and actually feeling like I was drunk (I didn't even have one whole glass of wine, and I'm definitely not a light weight), was an amazing experience. It took me ages to realise that the 'drunkenness' I felt was actually happiness and simply letting go of any cares; just having fun for the first time in ages without the aid of alcohol.
I know it sounds like an incredibly simple realisation, but for someone who's been relying on alcohol to relax and let go for the past few months, it's a big thing. For whatever reason, it's taken until tonight for me to realise that all I need to do is take things as they come, and try to just enjoy life. Even the smallest things such as a smile or a hug from someone you care about can make a huge difference, and it's time I begin to truly appreciate those things.
I have no idea how long this new mood will last, it's possible I'll be back to my pessimistic, cynical self by the morning, but I'd like to think that if I've managed to find this attitude somewhere within me tonight, then surely I can find it again.
Watching: Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog
Eating: mini m&m's